Changed . . .

January 31st, 2016

He is Mighty to Save.

So today I am still standing in awe of everything I watched God do this weekend.  I can say that after watching God show up over and over the last few years, it never gets old.  And yet, it continues to surprise me and astound me.   

About six months ago a number of us from our church, along with our pastor, began meeting at 6:30 am to pray in what started out to be 30 days of prayer.  Which turned into 40 days of prayer.  Which turned into praying through the Psalms.  Which turned into a morning prayer group that has no foreseeable end in sight.  Corporate prayer is a thing of beauty.  For me, learning to pray out loud was a practice that took time.  Then, there was learning to pray kingdom sized prayers.   The wise and godly men and women from this morning prayer group have changed me and taught me so much about how to pray.  No longer do I see prayer as big lofty hopes for my dreams to be reality, no longer are they just requests for the little things that impact my day to day life or even the pleas to God for the people in my life in desperate situations. No kingdom prayers are unique.  They call to the God of the Universe to reveal Himself. . . to make known His name among the nation. . to draw His people to Himself. . . to live and move and breathe among us in ways that we can see and feel and experience first hand.    We pray for Him to inhabit our worship and to make himself known in real and tangible ways among us.  

We have prayed for many things. . . . We have prayed as a church to have a heart of repentance,  for a renewed spirit, for restoration of our communities, for redemption of God's people.  But mostly, we have prayed to catch a greater glimpse of God moving.  Moving in our own lives, in the lives of those close to us, in the families that attend our church and in the greater body of believers in Southern Chester County.    

We pray because prayer changes things.  And the most important thing I've seen it change. . .is ME! Somewhere along these last six months I learned that the best way to start my day is in praise and prayer.  And the best way to end my day is in repentance and thanksgiving.  

I don't think I can use words to describe what it looked like to witness the Spirit move through our congregation this past Sunday.  Between the two services, there were over 50 people who got up declared their faith in Christ and obeyed the Lord's command to "Repent and be baptized" from Acts 2 as we were learning that morning.  I spent the majority of the morning with my hands raised in praise and my eyes flooded with tears.  The Spirit's presence was tangible in a way I have never experienced before.  Without words. . .  I just took to music to express the joy I felt in my heart watching the Lord draw people to a deepening relationship with Himself.

Jordan Feliz's song captured it best and my favorite line of that song is .Let's go down to the river. . . You will leave changed. . . never the same!

There's not a soul who entered that worship center this past Sunday who did not leave changed!  Praise God! 

And so it goes. . .

Hey there.  . can I ask for some prayers?  I am on the cusp of something again.  I mean hasn't this entire last five plus years.  . . no ten plus years. .  or maybe 20 plus years.  Oh . . the whole things has been a journey leading me right to where I am today.   But, tomorrow.  Tomorrow I am going to be taking a big leap.  Another leap of faith.  And the irony of it being leap day is not lost on me.  It might very well take the better part of the next four years for God to do in me what He needs to.  But I am going to keep leaning on Him.  I will set down an Ebenezer stone and declare that

 'Thus far the Lord has helped me'  

 But. . obedience and faith are often accompanied by fear.  So, as I choose to follow Him towards writing this and towards sharing  this journey more publicly, I am struggling with fear of failure.  I am struggling with fear of inadequacy.  I am struggling with the vulnerability of it all.  I don't know. The Lord is laying it on my heart to write through this journey.  The ups and downs.  The peaks and valleys, knowing that only by His Grace will I overcome the obstacles that lie ahead of me.  And that the words of my testimony will be what brings Him the most glory.  So much of my journey has been a soundtrack.  And last year, Overcome by Jeremy Camp is the soundtrack I used to listen to every time I got on the treadmill.  So beginning another step towards getting healthy reminds me of that song.  So here I go. . taking a step out of the boat and onto the water to walk towards Him.  If I want to find comfort. . lasting comfort.. . .

 I know its not going to come from a piece of food, but rather the peace of Christ. 

And the vulnerability of writing about this journey is too big for me to even let more than a few of you know.  But. . again I keep hearing a song.   So, I have had so many reminders of this blog.  Every time 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman comes on I am reminded of it.  Its right there at 40 seconds in.. . . this blog I started back 8 years ago.  I was reminded of this blog during the first weekend of February when I attended the IF:Gathering at church.  I knew I was going to hear from God.  He has spoken to me so clearly the last three years through this gathering of women who are seeking after God.  We sang it twice that weekend I think.  And immediately I remembered that I indeed attempt to write before.  But as with my way, I tried to ignore it.  I tried to push that still small voice to the background.  But thankfully we worship a God who is relentless in leading us on his path.  Well, last weekend it played on Friday when I went to CR to give my testimony at Christ Community Church.  It played on Sunday at church.  It played on Monday at Willowdale CR.  I mean. . how many times?  I knew I needed to get back on here and write and pour out my thoughts and feelings as I go on this journey.

So . . .  here we go.   A new day is dawning. . . . may it glorify His name.

Seek you first . . .

okay. . . so when I sat down with my bible study homework the other day. . . knowing quite well I would be beginning this journey to physical health and wellness I wrote out this prayer.

Father God. . . I want to seek you first. . . before the approval of others, before the comfort of food, before the personal glory of my own accomplishments.  Lord, I don't want to do things that I can accomplish on my own strength.  I want to be stretched.  I want to experience you more deeply.  Lord - only your will - and I want to seek you and if you don't go before me - this will be yet another attempt of self-sufficiency or personal accomplishment.  Lord, only through you is it possible to transform the parts of my self that seeks a piece of food over the peace of Christ.   Lord I lay this at your feet and thank you for the humble ability to take this leap and to rely on you and learn from others who have gone before me in how to care for my body as the temple of your Holy Spirit.

Lord you have been at work in my life taking me on a journey of spiritual health and wholeness. . . and you have provided me so many avenues and people to assist me obtain more freedom in my emotional health. . and Father God the work you have done - and continue to do - in my relational health and well being. . far exceeds anything I could have dreamed of.  But you are a God of the impossible and I present to you this next hurdle. . mountain if you will. . . my physical health and wellness Lord.  Lead me I pray keeping me clinging to your promise that He who began a good work would carry it on to the day of Christ Jesus.  Praise be to God our Father. . the God of all compassion who comforts us in all our troubles.  Thank you Jesus for making a way forward.

A new day is dawning

September 2014

So I have this space. . . I carved this little place out of the internet over 5 years ago and here I am drawn back into it.  Truth be told, I am reading a book called Undaunted and in it Christine Caine tells her story.  The story of how God took a life that seemed to be perfectly fine, content and shook it all up.  Her name is Christine. . and in the book she shared that despite learning she was adopted and un-named at birth . . . God knew her before she was born. . . He knit her in her mother's womb.  He knew her innermost parts.  Her name comes from the Greek and Latin  "Christ follower".   And over the past few years, I have found Christ reminding me that my even before I was born he called me, he named me, he chose me, and called me and has given me a purpose.  And one of those purposes is to share and tell stories.  To share the story that God has been writing on my heart during my lifetime to share with others.  So today I am going to begin. . . begin to revisit this space where I can write out my thoughts and dreams, hopes and prayers, revelations and responses about where God is taking me in this journey.  As Ephesians 2:10 says. . .I am God's masterpeice, his workmanship, created to do good works planned in advance.   So I begin a journey to share the discovery of those plans . . . as I seek to follow God and trust Jesus with my future.  I am going to write down and journal His story in my life knowing that a new day is in fact dawning. . . . knowing that He who began this good work in me has promised to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.