And so it goes. . .

Hey there.  . can I ask for some prayers?  I am on the cusp of something again.  I mean hasn't this entire last five plus years.  . . no ten plus years. .  or maybe 20 plus years.  Oh . . the whole things has been a journey leading me right to where I am today.   But, tomorrow.  Tomorrow I am going to be taking a big leap.  Another leap of faith.  And the irony of it being leap day is not lost on me.  It might very well take the better part of the next four years for God to do in me what He needs to.  But I am going to keep leaning on Him.  I will set down an Ebenezer stone and declare that

 'Thus far the Lord has helped me'  

 But. . obedience and faith are often accompanied by fear.  So, as I choose to follow Him towards writing this and towards sharing  this journey more publicly, I am struggling with fear of failure.  I am struggling with fear of inadequacy.  I am struggling with the vulnerability of it all.  I don't know. The Lord is laying it on my heart to write through this journey.  The ups and downs.  The peaks and valleys, knowing that only by His Grace will I overcome the obstacles that lie ahead of me.  And that the words of my testimony will be what brings Him the most glory.  So much of my journey has been a soundtrack.  And last year, Overcome by Jeremy Camp is the soundtrack I used to listen to every time I got on the treadmill.  So beginning another step towards getting healthy reminds me of that song.  So here I go. . taking a step out of the boat and onto the water to walk towards Him.  If I want to find comfort. . lasting comfort.. . .

 I know its not going to come from a piece of food, but rather the peace of Christ. 

And the vulnerability of writing about this journey is too big for me to even let more than a few of you know.  But. . again I keep hearing a song.   So, I have had so many reminders of this blog.  Every time 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman comes on I am reminded of it.  Its right there at 40 seconds in.. . . this blog I started back 8 years ago.  I was reminded of this blog during the first weekend of February when I attended the IF:Gathering at church.  I knew I was going to hear from God.  He has spoken to me so clearly the last three years through this gathering of women who are seeking after God.  We sang it twice that weekend I think.  And immediately I remembered that I indeed attempt to write before.  But as with my way, I tried to ignore it.  I tried to push that still small voice to the background.  But thankfully we worship a God who is relentless in leading us on his path.  Well, last weekend it played on Friday when I went to CR to give my testimony at Christ Community Church.  It played on Sunday at church.  It played on Monday at Willowdale CR.  I mean. . how many times?  I knew I needed to get back on here and write and pour out my thoughts and feelings as I go on this journey.

So . . .  here we go.   A new day is dawning. . . . may it glorify His name.